Commentary VI:15

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All Things are Relative

I suppose that is the theme, at least of this opening scene. One thing I’m not sure I’ve ever commented on is how I use the term god rather liberally, and abstractly. (Though I’m fairly sure I’ve commented on how little I gender the term.) In part because in the sense of our world that word can already be rather abstract. Even the bible occasionally speaks of angels as gods, or statues and the ideas they represent, while casting neither actual power or respect to them.

The Mage Kings rarely ascribed themselves to divinity in a linguistic sense, even if their keeps were often cathedrals, their demand for obeisance notable, and their powers at times truly vast to the point where one need question their definitions. Laset by far amongst the most powerful being we’ve encountered, rivaling perhaps the Avatar, but I imagine the two would have an utterly futile time fighting each other. Gods indeed.

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Commentary VI:14

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The War of Mirrors

Trying again to do commentary in parallel with editing, and really tightly coupling the process section by section. I decided to add another day on background, in which I presume mostly wallowing, or futile conversations happened. No progress, Laset continues to imply she is to weak without showing obvious signs.

One presumes Rihonae is actually using the orrery chamber as a functional throne room, and not just for show. Maintaining a presence here most days for petitioners, and so she was easy to find on the previous day, to have one more ask of when they would be let go.

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Commentary VI:13

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The Long Run

I had initially titled this chapter the Blood of the Sea, but felt it was too on the nose. The Silver Thread ultimately came from the crimson thread of the poem (blood in veins,) but does evoke the silver chord a bit, which plays well enough. All this said there is a favored metaphysical idea I oft return to, that the sea is never far, for we cary her with us in our veins.

What had originally been drafted in one chapter, is now looking to take at least 3 to resolve. Even two felt rushed, and I’m still struggling with structuring the climax of this mid book arc. If that is too telling, apologies.

To be overly real this proved a frustrating chapter to construct, not so much write. I wonder if it shows that I switched the sections around a bit after they were written, and then edited them to more appropriately flow. This pushed me too late in Sunday for editing to realistically be addressing commentary alongside final editing. Which has a cost, little things slip. Mostly towards the later part of the chapter. Some of which I’ve since fixed, after only a reader or two had read it.

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Commentary VI:12

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A Wyrm in the Roots

Late commentary this week because I hemmed and hawed about what I wanted to say. The advantages of commentary are the constant re-examination of characterization, and process, the down side is it can be a minefield of saying too much, or further compounding sources of discomfort, and I often do not write from the comfortable.

Still, starting on a lighter note.

I’ve been really torn up in a good-ish way about titles lately. The wyrm being an interesting addition linguistically, to what was perhaps implied before. The older, and regional myths of dragons. The wyrm here being used to evoke a peculiar thought. The yeard, was roughly the measure above a man’s waist from the ground, in Ancient Thevies. The yeardwyrm were wyrms of about this length, and they were said to follow the outlines of things, ever measuring them, to flee humans, but always lurk at the edges. Waiting for one to turn their back.

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Commentary VI:11

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The Appetites of Wyrms

Arthurian legends says that a wise, and chosen king devised a round table, that there would be no head to quarrel over. Of course this only works until the king takes a seat. What a round table does a bit better than one long and narrow, is provide an easier way for a great many to talk to one another. I arrived at the round table for the number of guests, but thought of the rest in retrospect.

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Commentary VI:10

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A Shadow with Walls

I had a title too good to waste, where by length I wound up having to push it off. Yet I was tempted to stick with it, because there is a semblance of aptness. Also I’ve yet to decided between A Clockwork Sun, or A Clockwork Sky. Of which we have already passed the impetus, so there should be no spoiler in sharing my conundrum.

Old cries of a clockwork universe are the actual cause. As I discussed before, the inspiration of the scene in last weeks chapter has hung with me. Secondarily of course, a sun might said to be orange at times, not that I’m overly a fan of a movie with such a truly evil protagonist, without much of any good reason. Still the impetus of forced adaptation to social pressure carries through a bit.

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Commentary VI:9

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Alliterative Anima

I wasn’t happy with the first draft. The initial characterization was too harsh, but over a few edits it did all come together, without changing much of the practical result, just the tone. There are a few little things still bugging me, but overall I’m pretty happy with where I let the world take me. For how nervous I was at first.

I’ve settled that there is an instability to Laset. Her mood, and manner as flowing as her form. Likely her higher awareness well compartmentalized, to stay sane.

Liora as I commented last week, was not going to simply surrender. Not without putting up a futile fight, and I’ll note, she does far better than most.

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